image of women sitting in armchair writing

An Office Interlude

Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip.

Harmony's gaze barely flickered as she rapidly flipped through the business cards. Tom Cruise, Jenna Elfman, John Travolta, Kirstie Alley...

"Ew, what's with all the skeezy Scientologists?" she muttered under her breath. She continued flipping until a tiny black font caught her eye. Paydirt. She plucked the card she'd been looking for out the Rolodex.

There was a noise, causing her to look up sharply. "Step away from the desk, Little Miss Trespasser." Lorne stood in the doorway, arms folded and lips pursed, wearing a suit that could only be described as loud.

Finger paused on the Rolodex, Harmony stood bolt upright and plastered a wide smile on her face. "Hey," she said, far too brightly, and edged away, clutching the prized business card behind her back. "Um, Angel just wanted me to get the number of... your tailor."

Lorne clucked. "If you're gonna lie, sweetpea, at least do it convincingly. I don't even need to read your aura to know you've got more ulterior motives than Bill Clinton around a White House intern. So spill it."

Heaving a great sigh, Harmony handed the card to Lorne. He hoisted one eyebrow. "Charlize Theron?"

"What?" Harmony said defensively. "I admire her work..."

Lorne snorted. "Need I remind you of that little regulation in the Wolfram & Hart company handbook regarding employees snacking on our clients? It being strictly verboten, honey."

Noting Harmony's doleful silence, realisation dawned on Lorne. His expression softened. "Ah, do I detect the skipping of an undead heartbeat?"

The blonde vampire pouted. "I've had a crush on her since, like, The Astronaut's Wife. I'd just like to meet her."

"Tell you what... maybe I could facilitate a meeting, pull in a few favours. After all, an Oscar statuette isn't just down to good acting... Just ask Gwyneth."

Harmony bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet and clapped her hands together. "Oh my God, you're the best!"

"Not so fast, Harmonious. You're keeping up with the 12 Step Programme of Redemption, aren't you?"

"Every Tuesday and Thursday evening. I really think I'm making progress," Harmony replied solemnly.

"And you promise that you have no intention of making a happy meal of Ms Theron?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die, well, again," Harmony replied immediately.

Satisfied, Lorne nodded. "Alright, I'll have a word with the boss."

At this, Harmony was reduced to incoherent, high-pitched squealing. Grabbing Lorne by the shoulders, she kissed him on each cheek before rushing out the office in a flurry of blonde hair.

Shaking his head in amusement, Lorne walked over to the desk and picked up the phone, punching in the number from the business card.

"Hi, it's Lorne. Good, thanks, big fella. Listen, how's Charlize's schedule over the next week? Oh, she is? Well, I know a fan of her's who is just dying and I mean literally dying to meet her -- "

The End